How to Build SoFT Skills

Mr. Career Guide is a blog to help you find and maximize your time in a job. I'd like to think that the underlying theme behind all the blog posts are soft skills. By definition, they are the personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.

Since being in Silicon Valley the past four years I have seen a deterioration of soft skills among colleagues. Perhaps it is the tech driven work environment or the ego centered organizations, whatever it is, soft skills seem to be fleeting by the wayside.

Hard skills are tough to learn (calculus, coding, advanced Spanish, SQL, etc) and soft skills are something we already have (personality, empathy, reliability, connection); so we believe at least. As you learn the hard skills in school and experience, you will somehow learn the soft skills along the way. Let's hope your parents taught you a few things too. Let's be real, most parents and schools are not teaching the importance of soft skills. We are focused on enabling students with skills to help them get a job with an assumption that soft skills are already acquired.

In college, we are told to focus on building hard skills that will open doors into employment. A lot of the hard skills you are learning will be outdated once you start. The skills of working with others will never become outdated. It is up to you to hone and enhance them.

Here are some strategies to improve your soft skills:

1. Relate to others. Get to know co-workers, clients, and managers on a personal level. Remember facts about them, ask them how they are doing, and be there for them. If your coworkers are introverted and you are not, try to find something to relate too. Maybe it is Star Wars or Magic cards, show a general interest in whatever they are passionate about. If they are extroverted, go out to Happy Hour to get to know your colleagues. Or better yet take each one out to lunch during the workday. Sit down with them and ask them to talk about themselves.

2. Don't be a robot. It's easy to not be yourself in the office. You want to conform to the up-tightness. Take a deep breath and relax. You don't have to be a robot. Have a personality and let it show. Ease your shoulders and smile.

3. Lose the ego. You are special. But you don't need to let everyone know. Put your ego in check and be selfless with humility. Maintain an attitude of modesty and show that you are grounded, not inflated.

4. Be approachable. You want to be known for something special in the workplace. Coworkers turn to you for career advice and wisdom. Approachablity is a critical soft skill that tells others they can come to you for advice while not being judged.

5. Smile. They say there are many benefits to smiling. Smiling helps me not take the job too seriously. Working in an office doesn't have to be uptight. Smile a lot.

6. We are all people. At the end of the day, we are all people trying to make a living. You don't have to go very deep into someone's life to find out that they have gone through something difficult. Everyone has a story, we are all people.

7. Practice. There are plenty of courses out there to improve your soft skills. Whether it is YouTube, Lynda.com, or Coursera, there are free courses to help you improve soft skills. Learn as much as you can and make soft skill development part of your annual goals.

Who knows how soft skills match up to hard skills in the workplace. All I know is that they have helped me tremendously in building relationships inside my organization. I may not be the most technically gifted consultant, but I know that I can strike up a conversation with anyone, remember facts about them, and build a relationship. What are you going to do to develop your soft skills this year?